Let me start off with an admission. I am absolutely horrible at competitive gaming. The Urd-people of primitive Terra who have yet to grow opposable thumbs could probably get a better Kill/Death ratio than me. For example: what happens when you place me in a room with a insane rig, custom-made mouse ergonomically designed for the fastest actions per minute possible, connected to a 16-key well-designed pad meant to destroy all opposition? First thing I'll do is load up Mass Effect and read all the numerous codex entries for the Yog-race of Xenoth Prime (although right now, it would more likely be loading up Skyrim and trying to figure out what the hell happened to the Dwemers). Cutting a long story short, in terms of previous experience, I am geared explicitly towards the side of role-playing and "experience gaming" as I like to call it. That is not to say that I partake in neither more competitive games such as TF2 or any of the battlefield games, nor semi-competitive real time strategy games such as Company of Heroes, but I don't do so competitively. As having been part of my school team in Sports, I do understand the zone which a person enters upon having only one goal - the absolute and utter destruction of his enemy. And I can safely say that despite almost a decade of hardcore gaming, this zone has been rarely visited by me, if at all.
That is why despite playing Defence of the Ancients (DOTA) since it came out on the Warcraft 3 mod scene, I have never been any good at it. Having DOTA 2 cause such a stir in the community had, in fact, awoken a bunch of repressed memories - teammates shouting at me across the room, demanding to know where the hell I was during that gank, while I realized that my hero had been prancing about somewhere in the forests eating trees. As you can tell, playing with me was pretty infuriating, and to be honest, playing back then was pretty infuriating for me too.
So you probably would understand my trepidation as I opened the gift I received from one of my friends who had won the beta lottery for DOTA 2, (who shall be named here as The Frenchman). Having recently watched a bunch of Starcraft 2 (mostly due to the awesome casters such as Day9 and Husky), I was slightly more open to the idea of a proper competitive game, but I had no illusions as to what I was doing. I wasn't cracking open the seal to a world where I could live out my fantasies, nor was I taking part in a creative venture between man and machine. Not one bit. I was instead here to "kick ass and chew bubblegum", although I was pretty sure the gum was stuck somewhere in the back of my throat and the ass that was about to be kicked was solely mine. Furthermore, an incredible fear arose from the fact that now I would actually have to be responsible for the survival and well-being of my teammates, and that no, I couldn't do this easily by running about as the Medic with the left mouse button down and both my eyes closed. What my friends wanted as a fellow Beta player was most likely a lean, mean ganking machine, with eagle-eye vision of the mini-map and razor-sharp reflexes. Instead, what they got was me.
And so the games began, against bots at first as we grasped our way into understanding the new controls and mechanics (especially the shop system, which once you've understood it, is really intuitive). Entering the first game, by myself, with a whole team of bots, I was sorely trashed and as a result quite emasculated. Therefore, when the Frenchman and the Troll (my other buddy) came on, I was becoming REALLY doubtful about this whole endeavor. The game began, and I chose Tiny, the only hero I knew how to play with any modicum of what could be vaguely called skill.
Yet, as I saw my little maniac muscle his way across the ground, large, stony knuckles on his right arm dragging along the forest floor, a strange thing happened. Immersion. Deep, beautiful, wonderful immersion. I know this is strange, so bear with me, and allow me to explain. Let me take the example of Skyrim, which currently is the game with the deepest level of immersion I have ever experienced in my life (and have already sunk more than 30 hours into, with an eternity left to go). Immersion occurs there in the form of me, taking on the character of someone else that lives in my head. In Skyrim, I am a grizzled old war veteran who has turned against his fellow Imperials to fight for Nordic freedom. I transcend my own personality to fit the role of his. However, while playing DOTA2, I was immersed in an entirely different manner. As I began focusing on getting last hits, not getting ganked, and getting bigger and bigger (literally), I began to place myself in Tiny's small stone shoes. It was not Tiny causing an avalanche, it was me, it was not Tiny tossing a fellow hero onto the enemy DPS, it was me lifting my mate over my head and throwing him into a hated foe.
Then, as I cheered upon finally getting my Cuirass, and did a small victory dance by lumbering about (now at full size) the enemy towers, I realized something. I did create a story, a Bilsdungroman of maturing in power and skill - but instead it was me that was the hero. And that I realize, is competitive gaming. You are the hero of the game you play, it is based upon your skill, your tactical choices, your sheer attention paid to every single thing going on in the screen at any moment. When we finally pushed down the enemy Ancient, it felt as if it were the end of a main quest in any Bioware RPG. I felt fulfilled, satisfied, and looking at my items carried at the end, it felt like beholding my fully decked-out warrior at the end of Oblivion's main quest. Of course, in the next two games where we were promptly crushed by the bots (I was Leoric). But even then, I played this game with a new mindset, a new perspective.
This is what I love - after a decade of playing video games, I have discovered a whole new aspect of it that I have never encountered before. One that is exciting, that sends adrenaline pumping through your body, and leaves your pants at the edge of your seat. It will never replace role-playing games for me - as a natural storyteller RPGs are still preferable. However, competitive gaming is something I have decided that I will attempt to grow to understand, and maybe love, in my passion for gaming. This is why I now truly believe that competitive gaming may be considered a sport, it gives the same rush, the same desires and drive as any ball-game does, from the comfort of your battle-station at home. Some people say that competitive gaming only feels good to win, but the way I see it, it feels good to be trying to win. And that's enough for me.
Also, Pudge has a British Accent. That is pure gold.
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